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Submitted by JG (North Central, NC) on 06.23.13

Twice I shat myself. I'm on the Paleo diet. I live a healthy lifestyle. It became clear to me based off this experience that I was allergic to a great many foods that are normal for people to eat. Things like pasta, bread, certain veggies and of course dairy. Foods I loved and had enjoyed my whole life lead me to this terrible experience.

The shits that come out when eating these foods are always loose. If i were to shit on the ground (not in a toilet) well, it would just be a big glob of collecting poop. Not dense, healthy turds. So anyways, as I walked the 1 mile from my car to workplace, I felt the loose stool plunging it's way out of my bottom. Pinching it off and walking almost bow-legged but squirly I ran to the door. Well I was no where near the door, which also had to be unlocked and an alarm disabled when this large glob (not turd) found it's way through the pinching off. Once I felt the warm and uncomfortable matter (we'll call it that) hit my pants, I just flat out submitted. I let it all run out. Anyone who has given up and let shit just pour out like this knows better. THey will tell you that you were 10x better off keeping your butt pinched and not letting the shit have its way. I worked a long and physical job at starbucks. There is no way I could have let this fly.

A major problem for me was at the time, I didn't wear any underwear..so needless to say there was shit running all down my leg and everything. My coffee shop was part of a college bookstore so I grabbed a pair of shorts and threw them on after cleaning myself up.

luckily I had a great girlfriend and I called her up. With lightning speed she travelled to the campus and brought me a new pair of pants. My ONLY other pair of pants. and I left my shit soiled pair as the first deposit in that bathroom's trash can for the day. Sad, to think the janitor would have to smell my marinating shit when he next emptied the trash, but at least I didn't try to flush my pants down the toilet like some simple minded self shitters would.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 699 Not So Much 625


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