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Submitted by Hannah Casey (Country School, FL) on 08.06.13

One day my crush's parents were giving me a ride home from water polo when my crush had swim team at the same time. They showed up in a shiny white Mercedes with white leather interior. I had the urge to poop but thought I had the self control to hold it in. Little did I know this was going to be one interesting car ride. I was talking to his parents when I felt the smothered burrito from Taco Bell rumble in my stomach, oh no! Beads of sweat started to form on my brow and upper lip, but I nervously wiped it away dismissing the obvious danger that lay ahead. Right after his parents asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner, thar she blows. I shifted uncomfortably but my turd was on the stairway to heaven. I continued to keep the conversation going when the stench became unbearable. By moving around so much I had ground the soft poop into the white leather seats. I opened the window in a failed attempt to mask the putrid odor, but it was too late he could definitely smell it. He turns to me and says, "It smells like shit in here, ha" I laugh nervously and attempt to pat his shoulder playfully but instead slap him in the face. Everyone in the car fell silent as the sound of the slap reverberated through the still air, you could hear my heavy breaths from trying to keep in the rest of the poop I still had climbing out of my butthole. I once again shifted to keep in the rest of the poop thus smearing the poop, and considering I was wearing a white bathing suit the outcome was clear. No one knew what to say. In an attempt to lighten the mood I made a joke about Hitler forgetting for only a moment not only were they Jewish but their grandmother died in the Holocaust. In this moment I swear I was infinite.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 718 Not So Much 685


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