Submitted by Big Al (Peterlee, Some State) on 03.07.14

Earlier this morning I did the unthinkable. I shit myself. I was sitting at my computer when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I stood up to go to the bathroom just incase. The feeling was familiar so being the cautious guy I am, I tried to make it to the bathroom. I took maybe 1 step away from my computer chair when my it happened. A flash of light from the sunshine outside, a slight gasp. Before I had time to think my butthole involuntary opened and dookie butter was running down my legs, I grasped the back of my thighs to stop it in it's tracks but my butthole contracted and poured out a little more. It was 90% water at least. I stood in shock. What the hell do I do, I must have stood for 10 - 15 seconds before closing my curtains and opening my clothes drawer to grab a handful of shirts to put under me. I removed my soiled garments and put on some sweatpants to hide the crime. I made my way downstairs with the evidence when I noticed my front door was open. I breathed a sigh of relief as it usually meant my parents were outside in the garden. I was wrong. I turned the corner and my uncle was sitting on the sofa like a detective peering right through me. In my head, He knew what I did I was guilty. The evidence was afterall, In my hands although bundled up to resemble ordinary laundry. Fortunately it didn't smell so strongly so I continued on into the kitchen and to my horror the washing machine was already running a cycle. I dropped the cargo beside it and continued to the bathroom to clean myself off. Before showering i just came clean and explained what had happened. I didn't want anybody to move or touch my clothes unknowingly and come into contact with the hazardous mess.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 353 Not So Much 408

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