Submitted by VictorySmush (Atlanta, GA) on 06.03.14

The night before, I had copious amounts of Jaeger and Vodka. Jaeger is to me like prune juice is to your grandma... So I thought I was in the clear when I had completed my shit-a-ton at home. I went to work and felt the ripples of pain in my intestines, thought I needed to let out some gas, you know,, to make space...It was shy of 9:30 am, and I had my own office, so I ripped, but sharded! I was mortified, because how do you walk past cubicles with your dress smeared with shit? I had to buzz m secretary and she retrieved a dress I had in the car which was to go to the dry cleaners. I lied and told her I got my period... then I remote-opened my automobile (My office window faced my parking spot)- While she went out there, I ran to the WC and threw my poopy panties in the garbage and got Lysol from there and sprayed EVERYWHERE... I never shat myself again, but it is a horrid story to last for years to come

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 294 Not So Much 246

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