Submitted by yoda (West Hartford, CT) on 09.14.14

I had a rivalry with this kid back in high school. We used to always disagree, we were both on the volleyball team, and I found myself getting Chinese food with my girlfriend. That evening, I noticed the kid who's family owned the place. As he handed me the meal, he smiled and reminded me how good it was to see me.

Fast forward two hours - the food is ok - nothing out of the ordinary for a good Chinese dish. We both go to sleep, as it had been a long day. I wake up in the middle of the night - and void everything that had collected in my belly. Felt fine - come back to bed and fall asleep like a baby. Shortly thereafter I am having a dream, where I am running around and farting on Koopa's from Mario. I wake up with a wet shit stain that soaked all the way through the mattress. I was cleaning for hours trying to get it out in the middle of the night. After emptying half a bottle of bleach and scrubbing, the lady wakes up in the morning, and has no idea that anything happened. It turns out that I have to do a double and won't make it home. She has nothing for me to change into - so she gives me a pair of pink "boyshorts". I was working in a prison at the time.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 337 Not So Much 298

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