Submitted by Jimmy Von Lemon Grab (Contorculaton, Nigeria , WA) on 01.12.15
We were at Washington state contorculating as the beach volleyball champions of the roman empire shat down our throats. We then realized, daddy and I, that we bothe enjoyed our throats getting shat down. So we decided to make it a carrier. We called our little but smelly business the Spag Acadamny for Jimmy Von Weiner Shit Snitzelz. What we manufactured was non other then pretezels stuffed with feces. Our business took off, like how our shit projectiley came out of our anusus.So the company spedo, that manufactures bathing suits for professionally swimmers or try hards, requested a partnership with us... so we naturally excepted. The parternship stated that we, as the ceos of the business, must where spedos to and from work walking past the beach in -30 degree Fahrenheit temperature and bathe in the hot springs of the Jamaican dill pickle amazon tribe jungle. Spedo then told us to contorculate in the upward momentum variety of juicing a cactus in the shara desert. After months of hard and freezing work we completed the task that the spedo corporation gave to us. On the 7th of June 3045 CD, we got our ultimate secret recipe sauce from spedo. Spedo handed over all the bathing suits that people have shit themselves to us and we melted it down and made pretzels stuffed with it. But sadly, an ebola out strike occured and we harvested it to instead using salt, we used ebola as the white saltly stuff. We also made a new recipe and it was shit covered pretzel rods with ebola salt. The USDA finally came to our establishment in northern Italy where Mario and Vinnie resided in their lovely town home of Jamaica, Italy. Vinnie and Mario had a long argument with the USDA and finnaly called in fat bitches who like canollies to save his star bus boy and daddy. Fiannly after a long and cold nuclear war, Mario and Jimmy and Dad won the war. However, in celebration of the new victory Jimmy re-named his business Rold Gold pretzels and made it a law to have a pretzel store in every mall in the United States of Egypt. So next time you buy our proucts always that no matter how much you think it wrong to eat shit, there will always be an Olympic Track Athlete that will always beat a white boii. The End and Merry Christmas.
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 341 Not So Much 310
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