Submitted by The poopmiester (Nyc, NY) on 12.27.15
This happened about 1/2 hr ago...12/27/15 @8:30pm....I will never forget it, as it was my finest hour.
The tummy was not so yummy all day. I had to take some Tums to knock the edge off. So of course it makes a shit load of sense to have King Crab for dinner because my buddy wanted to get some....yeah I'm a bit allergic...yeah my stomach is already doing back flips...of course why not? Great idea.
We finish and as soon as I drop my friend off and head for home...45 mins away...I cramp like a woman on her mensees. By the way, I'm a man.
I'm trying to make it home, but the shit gobblins are attacking my arse hole bad...I have a large drop cloth in my car. I grab it, pull down my pants while driving on the East River drive, and let her rip. I've never shit so much in my life.
Then I folded over the flap and set my filthy ass on it. I'm glad I'm single.... Because if I wasn't before then, and I performed this stunt in front of a woman, I'd be single shortly thereafter.
I then got home...wiped my ass on the edge of the drop cloth and threw it in a corner city trash bin...poor garbage men tomorrow.... I am now on my porcelain thrown, finishing up...ruling over my poopdom.
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 209 Not So Much 311
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