Submitted by Fernando (New York, NY) on 03.09.16
I was feeling ill on this fateful evening, cramps, bloated, pain. I had visited the doctor earlier and they wanted to run a whole bunch of tests that I knew were going to take time and only add to my paranoia of having incurable ass cancer. When I got home I decided to take matters into my own hands buy running out and buying the entire enema and laxative section of my local Rite Aid. I felt the urge as soon as I stepped into the store but thought I could hold it until I made it home. I made it to the register and amidst the dirty looks of why is this guy sweating and acting weird from the overweight clerk I made it outside. I collected my dog who was tied up outside and began the shuffle home stopping every few steps to quell the urge to drop my bowels on Broadway. I made three blocks from home where and I turned down a dark alley and let it rip. I felt the cold wet stink fill my shorts and then trickle down my leg. The smell made my dog bark only calling attention from the passerby's who all began to stare. I shuddered like a phantom and hugged the shadows waddling in my own stink all the way home where thank god I made it to my apartment without anyone in my building seeing me. The worst part is that I had to throw out my favorite pair of shorts and I think there was a hundred dollar bill in my back pocket.
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 290 Not So Much 237
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