Submitted by Game of Porcelain Thrones (Temple Hills, MD) on 06.21.16
Me and my girlfriend decided to be more health conscious when grocery shopping. We stock piled veggies and fruit. We also bought a liter of (I forgot the brand) some organic green berry juice. I know everybody has seen them in the stores. I was hesitant to try it at first but when I did, I actually really liked it. It was thick and tasty and drank like a meal. I liked it so much I consumed the entire bottle in a little over a day. The following day my girlfriend sent me out to run some errands. Before I could even make it to the car I was running as fast as I could to the bathroom. My ass just started leaking. I didn't even fart! I stepped through the front door. My girlfriend saw the look on my face and said; what's wrong, what's a matter? I knew it was the juice. I said. It's that green juice! It gave me the shits! I dropped my pants and started to run towards the bathroom. My girlfriend yelled, stop! I don't want you getting shit on the carpet. She grabbed some rubber gloves and wipes. I couldn't wait any longer so I took off with her trailing behind me wiping my ass. I got to the toilet and unloaded. That shit shot out of my ass like a shotgun blast. I turned around and looked into the toilet and it was a massive pile of what looked like lime green jelly. At that point I knew it was the green juice! I took a shower and cleaned all the excess green jelly off my ass. Me, and my girlfriend were totally grossed out. We had never seen shit that looked like that before. It was probably healthy but still gross. Beware of the organic green juices!
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