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Submitted by PurpleGhost93 (Some City, Some State) on 03.13.17

This was in 2011. Me, my fiancé and my brother had booked a little holiday to Norway to see friends. The last time I flew was when I was 4 years old. At the time of the incident I would have been 18. so I was extremely nervous to fly, and considering I have IBS and severe anxiety it made me a hell of a lot worse. My fatherinlaw picked us all up, to take us to the airport.

Everything was fine, until we hit a complete standstill on the M25.(M25 is a major highway toward London.) There is me panicking, because my stomach was starting to rumble and cramp, and the panicking mad it come on quicker. We are in the middle lane, 4-5 lanes, and stocked full of cars, we were surrounded. I noticed people getting out their cars to see what was going on, which ended up being a lorry full of molten tar tipped over and covered the road (easy fix for potholes I guess.) The feel for voiding my bowels was getting a lot stronger now. I looked around looking for a place to go. It was winter, no leaves on bushes. I saw a thornbush. That was the only option, it was so dense that I hoped would hide me. I grabbed my fiancé, opened the car door, dragged him onto one of the most busiest motorways in the uk, and ripped my way through the thornbush. I couldn't feel the thorns, my mind was so panicked, I had to go NOW! My fiancé was on his phone, complaining about worrying we'll miss our flight. I shouted "FUCK YOU!" And released.

Bright orange, steaming lava poured out of me for a good 10 minutes. I was just silently hoping that none of the hundreds of cars could see me. All there was to wipe was dead leaves.

I finished, and walked out the bush full of shame. Got our suitcases out the car, dragged them up the embankment, climbed over a fence (I fell on my face) and started walking. We were really close to the airport. All the cars on the motorway ended up having to do a u turn, and drive through a big gate that had separated the town and the motorway. His dad picked us up, that's when I started to hysterically cry and call my mummy. Got to the airport, changed my knickers and threw them away, got into some joggers and made it through security. We made the flight. FML.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 133 Not So Much 119


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