logo

Welcome to Oops I shit myself! If you've just shit your pants, for god's sake, clean yourself up!

But after you get back, tell us all about it to the right...


Submitted by ShitterNotShitter (San Mateo, CA) on 05.14.14

A few nights ago, I was babysitting this kid at another house, and I was feeling really nauseous, & I shit myself & got the fuck out of there. The next few days I stayed home, and then at at the bus stop this morning I did it again in front of all my class (Full Story) A few nights ago, I was babysitting this kid at another house, and I was feeling really nauseous, & I shit myself & got the fuck out of there. The next few days I stayed home, and then at at the bus stop this morning I did it again in front of all my classmates. Just great.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 89 Not So Much 49


Submitted by Lover boy (Buttfuck Egypt, AL) on 05.09.14

You ever hear that phrase, "you know you're in love when you fart around each other"? Well, I was with this girl for a few years and had taken that test one step further by making a habit of farting on her. Sometimes she'd laugh, other times she'd be more (Full Story) You ever hear that phrase, "you know you're in love when you fart around each other"? Well, I was with this girl for a few years and had taken that test one step further by making a habit of farting on her. Sometimes she'd laugh, other times she'd be more annoyed. She loved me though, so she put up with it. Well, one morning I awoke with the excitement of having stored up an extra-large, freshly-baked air-biscuit. I knew I would have to act fast since my girlfriend was a light sleeper, and she'd definitely push me off her if she saw it coming. Go time! I sprang up, swung one leg over her head, and aimed my anus. Phtbtbtbtbt! I SHARTED... And because I was so excited, in such a hurry, and pushed so hard, it was an immense amount of diarrhea covering her face and head. We were both in shock. It was terrible. She got up, went to the bathroom, and got in the shower. I cleaned up the bed. We broke up later, but not because of this incident.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 61 Not So Much 37


Submitted by MosquitoControl (Some City, NC) on 05.08.14

Well I'm a driver for the county. I was getting pretty hungry because I've been eating slim here lately. So I decided to get some Papa Johns. Got a pepperoni jalapeņo and sausage pizza with garlic sauce. It wasn't good. Ate a couple pieces and went on with (Full Story) Well I'm a driver for the county. I was getting pretty hungry because I've been eating slim here lately. So I decided to get some Papa Johns. Got a pepperoni jalapeņo and sausage pizza with garlic sauce. It wasn't good. Ate a couple pieces and went on with my route. About 7 minutes later felt a little funny. I went ahead and relieved some built up pressure. I
Could feel it coming down the pipes so I started thinking I got to find a bathroom NOW!

I drive the same route every night so I know where the crappers and quiet places were and I wasn't within 2-3 minutes of one. So I started flying to the closest place I was going 60 in a 35 at one point. Too late, as I was heading there no matter how hard I resisted or clenched it started flowing out. Once the gates opened up I couldn't close them there was just too much pressure. As soon as I finally arrived at a porta John I had just finished my entire exorcism in my shorts.

I bent over and crabbed over to the John to clean up. Thankfully I decided to wear briefs for a change. The briefs held everything like a diaper and made or simple and not near as messy as boxers.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 68 Not So Much 44


Submitted by Angry clam (Oyster, NY) on 05.01.14

Why u no post my story?! You think u betta dan me? Phuck u biches. No, no. Don't post my story now. I betta dan u!!! Haha. Eat shit...clam out

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 54 Not So Much 45


Submitted by mlessaandrade (Rio de Janeiro, Some State) on 04.29.14

I Shited myself in the way to the work. As I've arrived there, I've gone straight to the bathroom, and cleaned myself with the toilet water and paper. Sad and with the lowest self steem as possible, I get the fuck out of there and returned home.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 53 Not So Much 42


Submitted by mlessaandrade (Rio de Janeiro, Some State) on 04.29.14

I Shited myself in the way to the work. As I've arrived there, I've gone straight to the bathroom, and cleaned myself with the toilet water and paper. Sad and with the lowest self steem as possible, I get the fuck out of there and returned home.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 39 Not So Much 37


Submitted by Not an Eagle (Lewisburg, TN) on 04.28.14

Every year, our scout troop would stay at this camp for a week. Something was in that drinking water because everyone got the shits by the end of the week. After the closing ceremonies one year, I made the mistake of trying to avoid the awful camp faciliti (Full Story) Every year, our scout troop would stay at this camp for a week. Something was in that drinking water because everyone got the shits by the end of the week. After the closing ceremonies one year, I made the mistake of trying to avoid the awful camp facilities, and tried to hold my douce for the comforts of home. The drive was over two hours, and our caravan was not moving fast enough at all for my bowels. I squeezed my cheeks. I held my breath. I adjusted the seat belt. I meditated. I prayed to every god I knew of as a young scout. But that mess - not nearly a proper turd - squirted out anyway. Everyone smelt it in the van, and jokes about the farting lasted the rest of the hour home. I dared not confess what was truly in my pants. When we got back, I begrudgingly admitted the accident to my Dad. He took me to the nearby Kroger so I could clean up. Wasn't much I could do there, mostly damage control. I was so thankful to be able to shower when I got home! Every year after that I pushed every dirty-water evoked diarrhea drop out into that nasty Boxwell shithole before we left for home. I learned.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 58 Not So Much 49


Submitted by Ohgod (Some City, Some State) on 04.27.14

I was catching the train home and I was only 4stops from mine and I have some intense stomach pains nothin I try can relieve the pain, I know I need a toilet. Fast. 2stops to mine I couldn't hold it any longer I exit the train and sit down as I down I shit (Full Story) I was catching the train home and I was only 4stops from mine and I have some intense stomach pains nothin I try can relieve the pain, I know I need a toilet. Fast. 2stops to mine I couldn't hold it any longer I exit the train and sit down as I down I shit everywhere I can feel it in my pants running down my legs in my shoes. I stood up and it was all over the ground, I tried to clean it put it was to liquid it went all over me.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 56 Not So Much 39


Submitted by Rickell (Some City, Some State) on 04.26.14

Ok so i was at class, like normal, and my stomach started to growl and everyone heard it. And i thought it was normal sense i always ski breakfest, but then my butthole started to hurt. i thought i needed to fart so i tried doing a silent fart and it came (Full Story) Ok so i was at class, like normal, and my stomach started to growl and everyone heard it. And i thought it was normal sense i always ski breakfest, but then my butthole started to hurt. i thought i needed to fart so i tried doing a silent fart and it came out loud and then i went to the bathroom and noticed that i shit myself i was covered with liquid shit. it was horrible. so i smelled bad the rest of the day, and i had to ask friends for pants.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 72 Not So Much 43


Submitted by FailureToFlush (Some City, Some State) on 04.24.14

For the past three days, I have been puking, shitting, and pissing myself uncontrollably. I was even in hospital doing it. I couldn't even lift myself until this morning.

Kill me.

For God's sake, people... Wash your hands. (Full Story) For the past three days, I have been puking, shitting, and pissing myself uncontrollably. I was even in hospital doing it. I couldn't even lift myself until this morning.

Kill me.

For God's sake, people... Wash your hands.

Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 52 Not So Much 44


Submit your best "Oops I Shit Myself" story!

Your nickname *
City
State
Your Subject *
Your Story *