I remember each time I shit my pants as if it were yesterday.

At the urinal in college.

Tripping on acid at a Phish Concert.

Countless times while going through Taco Bell drive-thrus.

Shitting oneself is the great equalizer. It's the one thing we never talk about...the sloshy, warm paralysis.

I guarded my shit stories like prized possessions...until one day.

I was refinancing my house, and my friend Jennifer, who worked for the title company, came into the office in a hushed voice.

"I think the lady who works with me just shit her pants."

The evidence was formidable. Her office smelled of too much perfume, the women's bathroom was desecrated with fecal matter, and, most damningly, a piece of HUMAN FECES was found in the hallway (did it roll down her shorts?). This office worker was nowhere to be found when the remains were discovered.

It was clear.

She had shit her pants.

Well, Jennifer and I had quite a laugh about this, and started sharing stories from our past. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

And after that day, I realized something.

There is nothing funnier than a good "shit your pants" story, and nothing that brings us together, from the cradle to the grave, like shitting your pants.

So browse the stories, submit your own, and let's come together...one story at a time.

Because when you fart a little too hard and fill your pants with poo, you're not just shitting your pants...you're shitting the pants...

Of America.

Submit your best "Oops I Shit Myself" story!

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